Friday, January 16, 2009

Tear in My Beer

I’m sorry for not giving you any updates sooner. I’ve had so much stuff going on in my life lately that I haven’t had a chance to post. Remember the blonde girl who was slowly falling in love with me? We’re now on a first-name basis, and her name is Allyson. I thought it was awesome that both our names begin with an A!

That’s the good news. The bad news is that Kijuju is getting crazier, even borderline dangerous. I met Allyson at our favorite watering hole for a few drinks. I thought things were going well: She was having a double whiskey and I was drinking the mini-barrel of beer. I was enjoying myself (How could I not?) when some guy I’ve never seen before starts talking really loudly. He was wearing sunglasses, and he kept slamming his beer glass down on the table while he talked. Actually, it was more like shouting. He kept saying things like “Foreigners should be thrown out of our land!” and “We will take back our town!” He was spilling beer all over the place! Allyson kept giving me the eye as if to tell me I should go over and say something to him. I would have, but I didn’t want to leave my beer unattended.

In the corner I saw I wasn’t the only one watching this guy. That creepy butcher had his eyes glued to the shouting man. Then out of nowhere I heard someone yell “Shut the hell up!” and a bottle went flying through the air and all hell broke loose. Pretty much the entire bar just started to brawl, so I grabbed Allyson’s hand (or did she grab mine?) and we ran for our lives!

I ran with her back to my place since it was nearby and she lives all the way on the other side of town. (Pretty smooth, eh?) We got back to my place, and I tried to hold her hand to comfort her, but she had her face buried in her hands. I settled for placing my arm on her shoulder. I didn’t know what to say as she sat there. We spent the rest of the night like that. In the morning she said to me, “I can’t stay here any longer. This isn’t the life I want to live. I’m going to find my boyfriend and tell him to get us out of the country. I want to go home.”

I tried to convince her to stay with me, that I would protect her, but she just left without saying another word. Tell me – is this normal behavior for a woman? Should I have followed her?


  1. Women aren't worth the trouble, but Adam, you oughta consider taking the advice of your family and leaving.

  2. Ohh Adam, Im sorry man! You don't have the fault. Maybe she don't want to stay there, maybe she is unconfortable in that place. Don't worry friend, i'm sure that there are a lot of other womans that want to be with you.

    You are not a bad person, believe me.

  3. Craziness, man... Listen, you should either get the hell out of there (take Allyson with you if you can!) or if you decide to stay, you better find some weapons to protect yourself — FAST!

  4. Adam. Between the two of weren't acting very smart on this one.

    Obviously you didn't take my advice about the blonde, and look where that got you? Clearly the "macho man" routine isn't getting you anywhere. You're wasting your time. The chances were slim to begin with because she has a boyfriend already.

    Not to mention you totally wussed out on telling Mr. Sunglasses to shut up. What did you do? Tend to your alcoholic beverage....smooth....real smooth.

    Adam I used to think you were an okay guy, but now I'm starting to believe you're getting yourself in all this mess and intentionally looking for trouble. Don't take this the wrong way.

    No offense, but when one goes looking for usually finds them.

    I don't want to seem like I'm lecturing you, but maybe it's best if you lay low for a while around the girl, butcher and especially the bar.

    Besides, there's a better alternative to alcohol. One time I was camping in the Arklay Mountains and this friend of mine got me hooked on this incredible green herb. It was so good that we scouted the area looking for more. We ended up finding not only the green ones, but red and blue herbs as well. We decided to take some of each color and mix them together to test out the after effects...sure enough we were high on life...literally!

    I even got bit by this huge freaky creature out in the woods that same night. It looked poisonous, and I kid you not....I think that blue herb actually "cured me"...I didn't feel a thing and never went to the hospital.

    I started studying up on these special herbs and found that there are some rare yellow ones found around Spain. I also heard from my buddy Chris that Kijuju also grows some of them there so I have something to look forward when I get to Kijuju in March. I don't know which herbs are in Kijuju though, but a mixture of red and green can do wonders for any pain you're feeling. Look around for some of those if you can.


    Mr. $miley

    p.s. If you have any, mix some raisins with the herbs. I swear you'll see Barney the Dinosaur waving at you from the distance, and it's ****ING AWESOME.

  5. Been a long time! Big guy.I doubt whether Allyson is her real name or not....

    Anyhow, I'm very glad to see you again. you know, the odd air in Kijuju made me concern about you. I should have give you advise that you should leave Kijuju, not for more money to work there. I want you to ask if the blonde want to leave with you...while you had asked her this time.(forgive my busy)

    I think she is very strange...and there is no hell a reason why his boyfriend brought such an attractive girl here but just ignoring her without certain purpose...

    I don't mean that she is a bad guy is filled with guile...perhaps she is capitalized by somebody...

    Beware, friend. I'm looking forward to you next news!

  6. Tell us if you ever see a "Made in Heaven" jacket in her place.

  7. With your logic, it's amazing your family doesn't want you to just stay there.
    Anywho, enough joking. Hm, it sounds to me like you're in a bit of a pickle! I would either: A. Get out of Kijuju ASAP, B. Follow the girl and try to find her again, or C. Kill everyone there and keep the beer.

    ^^ Uncle Al always told me that screwing everyone over is the best defense, so pick C! He's a cool guy, he told me once that if I stayed in an old, abandoned mansion for a night, I would get to keep it! What a guy!

  8. Adam, you better listen to what the guys said, stay away from kijuju, and for all we know this blonde girl looks like trouble too... You should know better, i´m sure Allyson´s boyfriend will notice if you try to make a move on his girl.

  9. avoid this blonde girl, not worth getting into trouble, kijuju is already troubled as it is!

  10. Dude, that man with sunglasses really was shouting out loud. The only thing he needed was a megaphone.

  11. She has the same name as me except I spell my name with one l instead of two.

  12. "I thought it was awesome that both our names begin with an A!"

    Sorry Al, but this really sounds like a moron chat

  13. I hope you finished your beer before you booked!

  14. That was one crazy brawl, Adam! I'm glad you made it out in one piece!
    I made it out OK as well, but I left my cigarettes in the bar! That was my last pack of Japanese cigarettes too!
    And who the heck that guy with the sunglasses? He was doing a good job of getting everyone all riled up, that's for sure.
    Being a foreigner in Kijuju, I thought for sure someone was going to do something to me!
    Some guy got in my face and was screaming at me! His eyes were red with anger and... Well, that guy with the turban is a cool dude. If he hadn't knocked out that guy screaming at me, well... I might not be posting this now!
    I know I have to be here for work, but it's just gotten too damn scary if you ask me.

    By the way, your girlfriend is hot!
    I hope things work out for you two.

  15. So sorry to hear things are not going well for you... :(

    Maybe you should have gone after her..I guest now it's all about waiting, if her boyfriend is as fool as it sound sure he will kick her out and you'll get another chance.

    Good luck whit that


  16. Don't worry dude, good ol' Weskie always screws with people. It was a half wise decision not to mess with him, cuz if you did, then you'd be punched all the way back to America. Al's got issues... So, screw Allyson and worry about your own ass. Gather some herbs (I reccomend a mixture of green & red, or green, red, and yellow. If you find blue, let me know!), weaponry, and run town before everybody turns into the Majini (the new type of parasitic creatures who were infected by a variant of the Plaga and Progenitor).

  17. Just go away, NOW! Ignore Allyson, she'll backstab you anyway...

  18. Watch out for Smokers, and don't startle the Witch.

  19. LOL @ rabbeseking, that was funny. Don't forget about Hunters, and Boomers too.

  20. Animetronyx: Unfortunately I had to leave it behind, but I made sure to take a good, long swig of it before running.

  21. Jun-T: Too bad about your cigs. I had to leave my beer. Thanks for the comments about my girl. Tell her to call me if you see her around.